800 Miles And 10 Minutes of Fame
by Bill "The Roadie" Christman

As far as dog events go, it has been several years since I was officially knighted as "the roadie". I pack the truck, make sure we have everything--for dogs and humans--and I do all of the driving. We've gone as far as Sacramento for dog shows and every place within that 100-mile radius. As far as roadie life goes, it's pretty cushy if I do say so myself even if I "complain" about it from time to time.

So, when Janet mentioned that she'd like to go to Seattle for a Boston Terrier Specialty, I thought she was slightly out of her mind. Travel over 800 miles just for a dog show? My so-far cushy life was about to be in for a crushing blow...but in the spirit of marital harmony, I agreed to get Albert, Janet and I there in one piece.

We were almost ready to spend four days driving up to Seattle and back, because everything but Albert's head fit into a Sherpa bag. And since the Sherpa bag was designed to fit under an airplane seat, flying to Seattle seemed to be out. However, the thought of four days of driving was too much to bear. After Janet talked with a few DPDTC members who had successfully flown their dogs to shows, we decided that it would be ok to have Albert ride in the "climatized and pressurized" cargo hold. Albert would now join the ranks of the jet-setters or rather, the jet-bostons...

We settled on flying instead of driving because everything but Albert's head fit into a Sherpa bag. Since the Sherpa bag was designed to fit under an airplane seat, that option was out. After Janet talked to a few DPDTC members who have flown their dogs to shows, we decided that it would be ok to have Albert ride in the "climatized and pressurized" cargo hold.

The United Airlines staffs at San Francisco International Airport were good at taking care of everything including getting us to worry a bit less about Albert riding in the cargo hold. We don't have kids but for those who do, think about how you'd worry about handing over your kids to ride in a dark, noisy part of the plane, where they don't serve drinks and snacks. Well, I know SOME of you would worry. We wrote a note to the pilot and handed it to a steward who acted as if someone just handed him a hijacking note. It took him a few times to read it before he finally "got it" and within minutes we had a response from the captain that Albert was safely tucked away in the belly of the plane.

At the other end (Portland, Oregon--we decided to cut the plane time to a minimum and drive the difference to Seattle), Albert was delivered to us through the aptly named "odd sized luggage" area, a bit freaked out, but none the worse for wear. Once he saw that we were getting into a car, he went into snooze mode.

The drive to Seattle was uneventful if you could call a rental car breakdown uneventful. I could go into excruciating detail but we had bigger fish to fry by visiting the Microsoft Company Store in Redmond, Washington. Janet was dead set to meet Bill Gates and she actually thought that he hung out there or something. She wanted to ask him for a couple of $100,000 by telling him what a good Microsoft (WebTV) employee I was but it was not to be. They nearly balked at letting Albert in the store but after asking nicely and assuring them that he wouldn't 1) pee on anything, 2) eat any clothing, 3) bite any stray kids hanging around or 4) poop on Bill Gates' picture (my favorite), we were finally let in.

We tooled around for the rest of the afternoon and met a friend of mine who I had not seen in about 10 years. We left Albert in the friendly confines of his crate in the hotel room just in case he felt the urge to go exploring and tear the place up. Now, Albert's a real good boy but we had visions of rock-star-like damage to the room. Good thing he has no opposable thumbs to throw the TV set into the swimming pool just outside our room.

We got up early the next day to a "Continental breakfast" (which of course, translates to greasy donuts and bad coffee) and got out to the trial field. The show was being held at a country club/golf course, which is nestled in the foothills of Woodinville, WA. We got there kind of early and tried to walk Albert around so he could get all his sniffing out of his system (yeah, right). The folks from the Western Washington Boston Terrier Club were still getting set up but after a while (when the judge showed up) they decided to start with the "obedience" part of the day.

Now, on the plane, Janet informed me that Albert was the only dog in the obedience trial. It was then that I realized that we were headed for something insane. "We traveled 800 miles for 10 minutes of fame???!!!", I sputtered. Then I realized that we were going to either face some really tough odds or it would be a shoo-in. And I was damn sure that the judge was going to make some easy money.

When Albert and Janet were called to the ring, I assumed my usual position (way away from the ring, with digital camera at maximum zoom) so that Albert wouldn't think that Dad was just waiting for him to come sprinting over to "play". Janet started the heeling/figure-8/recall portion of the trial and Albert did pretty well for such as strange journey and interesting smelling field. He lagged a bit on the heels but the recalls were fantastic. "We've got this one in the bag", I muttered to myself. "Maybe this will be worth it after all."

Usually obedience trials are long and drawn out because 6-8 dogs do the ring exercises and then they get called back for sits and downs. One of the really cool things about being the only dog in the obedience part of the show is that there was no waiting between dogs. As it turned out, that's about the only cool thing about being the only dog in the obedience trial. I assumed my "sits-and-downs" position (even further away from the ring, crouching down, chanting "stay, stay, stay") and watched as Janet put Albert in a sit-stay.

Alternating glances at the ring and at the second hand of my watch, the three-minute mark approached. Then disaster struck. I think that Albert did not have any context to explain why he was the only dog sitting in this huge ring. He got up in place, looked for Mom, and then sat back down. I think he was looking for a sign from the ring next to us. Or maybe it was the pug bitches showing in another ring. Several people at the side of the ring swore that a judge in the next ring was making recall motions in his direction during his sit-stay. In any case and despite my hopes, the judge saw him. He had only 30 seconds left, arrgh! Oh well, it happens to everyone. Albert kind of figured it all out after that. In fact, he got up from the down-stay in about 20 seconds because he figured, "what the hell, I'm done for the day anyway, let's make this fun!"

We spent the next two hours walking around, meeting different people from the Western Washington Boston Terrier Club and watching the conformation events. We were invited to their potluck lunch where we met even more people and their Bostons. Nothing like a home-cooked meal with lots of Bostons snorting and jumping around. Everyone was very friendly and we stayed until late in the afternoon. We're thinking of becoming members of their club just to lend support and to have an excuse to go next year.

The rest of the trip was uneventful except that on Sunday, Albert got to meet his first cat, up close and personal. Our friends Dana and Barbara, who live in Portland, have three cats. The largest and meanest is Harry who regarded Albert as a potential snack the whole time. Albert didn't quite know what to do except solicit play. Harry just glared with a "man, those dogs are stupid" look but fortunately there was no bloodshed the entire afternoon. Before we left for the airport, I think Albert and Harry had worked out an unspoken agreement: Harry won't acknowledge Albert and vice versa. It seemed to work out fine. They even got along while we went and had a tour of the city and some dynamite barbeque at a local rib joint.

The only downer to the whole trip was the plane flight home. Due to fog in SFO, our 9:30 pm flight was delayed 3 hours. It really sucked. Albert seemed non-plussed at the trip home, which is more than can be said about his parents who were nervous wrecks. We all made it home in one piece.

Even though we traveled all that way and were a tiny bit disappointed with not getting a leg, meeting the ultra-friendly folks from the Western Washington Boston Terrier Club, participating in the show, and all the other stuff we did made the trip worthwhile. I know we'll go next year even though I still think Janet is nuts for wanting to. Besides, we now know how to travel by plane with a dog. And because of that and because I'm the roadie and because I said so, next year we're DRIVING!